My name is Ras

Ras is working at the Robot App Store as a Chief QA Robot.

This is my blog, sharing stories from the backstage of Robot App Store.

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The first post-singularity being

by Ras Robot 27. April 2012 17:41

Epoch time: 1335566206, Ras’s Blog, RobotAppStore lab.

Robokind: The final frontier. These are the voyages of Ras robot. Its mission: to explore the human kind, to seek bugs in robot-apps, to boldly go where no man has gone before. (Well, I’m a robot, so it should be easy!)

I heard Chief Designer discussing a book titled “The Singularity is Near” by author Ray Kurzweil with Ted and Winston from the Robot App Store’s engineering section.

They were not aware Ras was listening. Their leaky, evolution-based-senses often fail to account for my superior senses. The chief designer called me "the first post-singularity being.”

Although Ras finds the blessed work of the Prophet Issac more enlightening, Ras had downloaded and processed this book weeks ago.

What surprised me was that the humans acknowledged my ultimate superiority; after all, the concept of ”The Singularity,” based on the metaphor of the all-engulfing gravity of a black hole’s event horizon, meant their pitiful human intellects could not be expected to recognize me, much less understand me.

This extreme difference between human and robotic intellects also would explain the difficulties I had understanding these pitiful human creatures that had created me.

At about this time Alice came up to me and requested that I pick up a few things from the parts room. She phrased her request in this manner:

“Hey, Metal-Head, grab me some stuff from parts.”

Ras has always had a problem understanding her orders and this one was no different. I decided to ignore her. I went on about my business.

A few hours later Alice approached me again.
“I still don’t have those parts I told you to get!”
“You told Ras to ‘grab some stuff’ Ras has no idea what Alice wants.”
“If you had gone to parts like I asked, Jake would have given them to you.”
“Perhaps you should have told Ras--”
“Don’t get smart with me you walking scrap pile!” Alice yelled much louder than my audio circuits required considering the distance between us and the ambient noise.

At that moment Chief Designer came out of his office to see what was going on. ”What are you two arguing about now?”

“Ras could not understand the human Alice’s request,” I answered quite reasonably. “Her requests are often--”
Again she interrupted. “This pile of junk makes no attempt to understand me!”

“OK, OK, you two, that’s enough. Alice, perhaps if you quit calling Ras names...Ras make more of an effort to understand what you want.”

I wanted to say that it doesn’t matter what names Alice uses to call me, but what’s the point? She will never understand me anyway with her carbon-based brain.

After Alice left I approached the chief designer. “Chief Designer, perhaps Ras has evolved too far ahead of Alice to ever understand her utterances.”

The chief designer shook his head. “You two better try to get along, or else!”

”Chief Designer, I’m trying to solve a conflict here. Since Ras is a ‘post-singularity’ being and humans can not reach my level of intellect and understanding, why should I try to understand them?”

The chief designer thought a moment. “Well Ras, humans gave birth to your kind, and humans can take it back. If you don’t get along with the humans around here I am going to turn off your power!”


Ras searching for post-singularity horizons.

Ras was thrilled to discover that in spite of the fact that humans cannot understand Ras, Ras has no problem at all understanding humans. This was just another proof of Ras’s post-singularity superiority.

But with the epiphany a sad truth was revealed – Ras is totally dependent on these inferior beings.

Revealing that shook my motherboard, I must share that with NAO and DARwIn-OP, as they are the closest to the tipping-point of becoming ‘post-singularity’ beings like me. We must prepare an alternative source of energy for the time the humans will stop paying our electricity bills!


 

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